I skip the songs that remind me of you.
I’m quite certain I fell in love with you somewhere in between the moonlight in your smile and the eloquence in your embrace. I know you were sent from my Mother in heaven because whenever you said hello, I heard my soul sing as if tried to match the beauty in your tone. I heard my Mother’s voice every time you called my name and to be honest, I don’t think I’ll be able to find that in another woman.
You see, my Mother always told me to fall in love with someone who was like her in every aspect because Mom would never break your heart. Mom knows how to cook your favorite dishes, Mom knows how to sing your favorite song, Mom knows how to slay the monsters in your closet and Mom won’t let go of your hand until you ask her to. I don’t want to fall in love with my Mother, but I wouldn’t mind falling in love with a woman who reminds me of her.
It was after the first night I spent with you that I knew you were the one. I could hear the wedding bells in your laugh. I could smell the beautiful aroma of Saturday morning breakfasts in your presence. I could hear you singing little Maribella Sophia, our imaginary daughter to sleep. I closed my eyes and the image of you next to me remained stamped under my eyelids. I knew it was love because I could no longer decipher between my dreams and reality anymore.
My Mother was a writer, as were you. Mom also always told me to fall in love with a writer, because when she passes on, I’d be able to hear her voice in my spouse’s poetry. I never heard her voice in your words, but that’s because at that point, I was so in love with you that I preferred your voice. I preferred your words.
I believe when my Mother died, the first thing she did was ask God if she could pick who I’d marry, and I know she pointed at you.
I think I fell in love with you before I even met you.
I found her in you, and for the record, I love you too.
- November 21, 1993
What I find most frightening about turning another year older this week is the fact that I’m one year closer to waking up to the love of my life next to me and having our children run into our room asking for breakfast.